After A While

After a while, you learn the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and
company doesn't mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and
your eyes open, with the grace of an adult not the grief of a
child.

And you begin to build all your roads on today
for tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.

So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to give you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure...

That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.

Getting out of the rat race

June 1998 was when I first started as an employee for a Japanese company. I was once that optimistic newly grad from a well-known college, eager to be part of the workforce, full of ambition and dreams and hoping that one day I shall be successfull in my chosen field. Ten years and four companies later, I am still an employee - less enthusiastic about work, uncontented with the pay, stressed and overworked. For 10 long years I have been working my butt off so that the owner of the company could get rich. And what do I get in return? Bills, bills and more bills to be paid monthly.

It was then when I read a book entitled Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki that it finally hit me; when it comes to my personal finance, I was not evolving at all. Yes, my current salary is 10 times more than I was getting during my first year of work, but my expenses have also increased dramatically. Therefore, my financial status during my first year have not changed after 10 years. I am still struggling to make both ends meet because as my income increases, so are my expenses. Depressing as it may, I am stuck inside the Rat Race - working endlessly with little reward or purpose like a lab rat trying to escape whilst running around a maze or in a wheel but ultimately going nowhere.

Question is how do I get out of the rat race? ...
Well, first thing's first; in order to find a solution, one should be aware of the problem. After taking in what I read and relating it to my personal being, I am able to come up with some realizations. These in turn will act as guide posts to achieve my goal.

My personal realizations:
1. Things that I thought I "need" are really just "wants".
2. I have acquired liabilities which I thought are assets
3. My want for a bigger, better and faster things is a never-ending cycle
4. Being an employee will NOT make me rich
5. I am a certified impulsive buyer and so I always end up buying stuff I don't need.
6. Most importantly, I lack self discipline when in comes to spending.

This book has given me some useful insights about handling personal finance, cashflows and the difference between an asset and a liability. It made me aware of my financial obscurity and how I can find a solution for my problem. Right now, I am thinking of doing some small investements hoping beyond hope that it is not too late for me. This is a slow and tedious process that may very well be prone to failure. This is better than doing nothing at all. I hope that someday soon, I will blog about how I was able to get out of the endless, self-defeating, pointless pursuit and vicious cycle called the rat race.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate;
I am the captain of my soul.

-by William Ernest Henley; 1849-1903